“who I am and why I’m here”

So, I’m participating in the blogging 101 via WordPress and of course, I’m dragging all my readers along also.

     I’m blogging versus keeping a personal online journal because I want to shout in the wind. You know how sometimes when you are really, really upset and want to scream at the universe? well, blogging is my ‘screaming at the universe” (lol) I don’t think I’m screaming as much as I’m giving a different perspective on things. I don’t think too many perspectives are a bad thing, but I am definitely sure that we all sometimes need that “cool, someone else thinks the same way I do!”. Its so important for everyone to not feel so alone in the universe.

The topics I write about are sex, love and relationships and everything in between for my nieces and nephews. My perspective as a Gen X means I can relate to both parents and kids. As I don’t have kids, (which I’m cool with) I bring the ‘Auntie’ perspective. I am quite happy being an aunt (and great aunt) but I’m also not afraid to tell them they are screwing up royally or telling them how proud I am of them. I think its important for kids today (everyone under 40 for me lol) to understand that every single day is a new slate. You don’t have to repeat the mistakes and missteps of your parents (or even me); you don’t have to stay stuck in bad situations, relationship, friendships, jobs, or even locations. You can live your life, fully, and with purpose, without kicking someone in the teeth. really.

I would love to connect with those teenager, young adults (college age) and those over 21 who are like, I am f***ing up my life and I need help! or those men and women, young girls and boys who are like, what I don’t really have any role models for what a healthy, positive, loving and relationships look like (cause IG and Facebook aint it) I also want to connect with those who think that sex rules everything around them. It doesn’t, and if you really think it does, let me be clear, Looks fade, bodies turn flabby (even with age) and there will ALWAYS be someone younger and prettier than you waiting to take your place. believe that.

In the next year I hope to accomplish

     a) posting weekly (if not 2 or more times)

     b) guest writing on other blogs

    c) appearing on podcast

    d) and finishing up my eBook & companion seminar

So, sit back and enjoy the ride!

Dear Amber, Khloe, Kanye, Tyga and Kylie

Dear Amber, Khole, Kanye, Tyga and Kylie,

2 chyle

While you all have attempted the first group shade the internet and entertainment news cycle these past weeks, I’m not sure what it really accomplished except to expose all of your collective business. I realize there is all sorts of hate and bad blood between most of you but guess what? Who the fuck really cares? None of you are curing cancer. None of you are making any significant difference in the lives of anyone outside of the social media search engine developers finding new ways to create traffic to your social media accounts.

Harsh yes, but while I’m a pretty live let live kinda woman, this bullshit here (and its bullshit) is giving me a fucking headache. With the exception of Kylie Jenner (she’s a minor) the rest of you are way too fucking old for this shit. Did any of you graduate from high school? The shade being thrown is so beyond anything that makes sense. How can you be mad at someone who made a sex tape when you been stripping and have probably done a lot worse, not on camera, for and because someone was PAYING you? Just because you “own it” doesn’t mean it didn’t happen. And please don’t give me that, “I was a stripper with morals” speech. Stripping by definition and practice means that you will do WHATEVER to WHOMEVER is paying. The fact that you felt the need to provide for your family indicates a level of dysfunction in your living conditions that are sad and painful. That was not your responsibility to provide for your family. You were a minor. Your “decision” to strip wasn’t yours to make, as you were not legally allowed to do so. This means that those clubs you danced in, those after-hours clubs you danced in, those men whose laps you danced on, and all the various things you did until you were 18 years old with whomever , they were complicit in child sex trafficking. Let’s be clear on THAT for a moment.

So perhaps when you made reference to Kylie Jenner & Tyga’s “friendship” I’m sure you were coming from a place of ‘been there/done that’, so you recognized that game.

However, the proper way to handle your view on that situation would have been to contact the police ASAP, if Kylie’s mother doesn’t seem too concerned about the issues or these people as Kanye has started talking (per the tabloids and confirmed Tyga’s & Kylie’s ‘relationship)

I understand that Tyga is your friend’s baby-daddy BUT he ain’t yours. Your friend needs to co-parent with him, just as YOU need to learn to co-parent with your soon-to-be ex husband Wiz. She can speak for herself. Your being her ‘savior’ isn’t a good look for her. I understand your friend Blac Chyna is but hurt but this is not the first time and it won’t be the last a man will hurt her feelings. And yours either.

Oh and videos you keep posting are not helping your cause either. You don’t have much room to talk about Kim and HER video (ONE) when you are posting this and this types of videos online. So because it’s not a man involved it’s okay?

While I am NOT a Kim K fan, and for the record, I’ve never seen the video, I don’t think she and Ray J made that video thinking they would be on Pornhub.com. From all account, it was 2 consenting adults making a private video, like MOST celebrity videos are (with exception to that silly ass Mimi Faust bathroom swinging porn fiasco). What she did in the video isn’t what THOUSANDS if not MILLIONS of women have done for their own man IN PRIVATE behind CLOSED doors, including a man jacking off on their faces AND getting peed on. I am not going to judge anyone’s kink (unless it involves minor and animals).

That being said, When you come for someone’s sibling, don’t act surprised when they come for you. That’s what Khloe did. And I don’t think too many other woman would not have done the same thing. If this wasn’t a celebrity thing, she would have come for you in different way, which would have involved the police, her and her BFFs and possible hospitalization.

Khloe, I know you are very protective of your family and your family’s reality shows do indicate how much you love them but IF in fact your youngest sister and Tyga do have something going on, you should check that and quick. A mid 20- something man SHOULD NOT be ‘friends’ with still in high school no matter how you slice it. I am sure your sister is a lovely young woman but this is about being age-appropriate and setting healthy boundaries. This friendship is clearly not. If this was either one of YOUR nieces, you would have put paws on this dude like yesterday. I don’t doubt that your sister has her shit together or is doing her thing (whatever it is) in Hollywood

In case any of you DID NOT KNOW (or those high-powered attorneys you hired didn’t tell you).


So, given Tyga’s interviews and pictures of your sister Kylie and Tyga and social media, I wouldn’t be surprised if your mom Kris gets a surprise visit from state authorities.

What makes outsiders think this is ‘creepy’ and inappropriate is the fact that, despite your high regard for your baby sister, she’s still a minor. We all know minors make some fucked up-life altering decisions (as well as young adults) and being involved with a GROWN ASS MAN who is at least 25 years old is an unacceptable period. I don’t care if he is a ‘family friend’. It is flat-out inappropriate and reeks of manipulation. What possible companionship can your sister offer to a man with a child? Besides sex and money? So is TYGA worth $4 million dollars as your 17-year-old sister is reportedly worth?

Can HE provide for your sister to the lifestyle to which she was raised? So tell me (and everyone else) what type of mental stimulation can she provide when her life experience has been reality television since she was 11 YEARS OLD and is home-schooled?

I’ll wait.


Your punk ass needs to quit. Going on radio pretending that white people and black people are so fundamentally polar opposite that we can’t agree on basis shit. Like how RKellyish you are at the moment

Kylie Jenner is SEVENTEEN YEARS OLD. You were born BEFORE Ms. Jenner. There is a difference between dating a woman who was born in 1989 and woman who was born in 1997. As you are a California Native, I will remind YOU that the age of consent is 18 in the state of California Those social media pictures of you too all cuddled up and hanging . Dude, so not a good look. Let’s be clear here. What flies in Hollywood, The hip-hop circles you run in and all that other BS you hang around, just because you and those of your ‘ilk don’t think ‘dating’ under age young girls is problematic does not mean the rest of us in “Middle America” do not. For all the pontificating on the subject, most people of rational decision-making individuals who are 18 years or older see this for what it is, a 20 something year old single man with a child and ex baby-momma fucking around with a 17-year-old.

Did I leave out anything?

Lest I forget, California has a different approach to adult men having “relationships” with younger women. I would suggest that you start looking into retaining a California Defense attorney who specializes in sex crimes.

Kanye, I’m going to need you to get off the internet for about 10 years. I understand your mother’s death took a part of your soul, but acting like you are butt hurt constantly, well. It’s not a good look. You are tired of cameras in your face. I can imagine but guess what? Talk to celebrities who DO NOT have cameras in their faces all the time. Let them give YOU tips on how to have a life away from the spotlight. Do you realize that there are some celebrities who are NOT fodder for the tabloids? They have much respect in their creative circles and within the general public? When they do show up for award shows, dinner and events, people are actually, genuinely HAPPY to see them? You might want to try meeting with them (in private) because whomever your PR people/BRANDING people are, they are not doing a good job.

As far as Amber goes, by your own admission, she was a placeholder for your now wife. Again, just because she (Amber was your busy station) until the love of your life became available does not mean she is not worthy of respect. For the time you spent together you sported her on your arm to EVERY EVENT known to man while you were together. If the stories are to be believed, you even PAID her after your breakup. Now, I have yet to pay anyone I have broken up with anything but wishing them a broken leg, you sir, paid said ex stripper a million? or more???

Aright Then.

Regardless of how and why you and Amber broke up, it ended. Move on. While I realize she came for your young sister-in-law, you have enough lawyers on speed dial to put a kibosh on her mouth. I can only hope you had some built-in keep your mouth shut clause built-in to your settlement with Ms. Rose, or else you paid your lawyers way too much money for their services.

I will also add this. Tyga is too fucking old to be messing with Kylie. Grow a pair and treat her as if she was YOUR daughter NORTH. Take his ass outside and handle him like a man. If you can swing on cameramen for getting to close to your wife and daughter, Tyga shouldn’t be much of a stretch.

Kylie, while I’m sure you think you are GROWN, young lady, you are NOT. I understand that you are trying to make a place in the world for yourself and us ‘regular’ people just don’t understand. You are right, we don’t. That’s because we haven’t had cameras in our faces since we were children. Look at some of the Hollywood stars who HAVE had cameras in their faces since they were a child. Their young adult years haven’t always been pleasant, even with two parents.

I know you probably believe that your ‘friendship’ with Tyga is all that, but let’s look at it for what it is. A 20 something year old man is keeping you company. You are not even old enough to be in most bars after a certain period of the evening. And drinking? Most established probably only allow you because they want the free air time of one of your clan’s shows. While your mother may let you drink at home, guess what, doing it outside of there is ILLEGAL. While you may be famous, no ONE is trying to lose their livelihood over you. And no sweetheart, you can’t afford to pay for ALL the lawsuits that will come your way if you drunk-drive and hurt or kill someone. While you may be famous, no ONE is trying to lose their livelihood over you. And no sweetheart, you can’t afford to pay for ALL the lawsuits that will come your way if you drunk-drive and hurt or kill someone.

I understand that you think that this is your ‘life’ and your ‘business’ and you should be able to live your life any way you want. You are right. When you are 18, feel free. You have until August 10 to be a guest in your parent’s home, and then you can bolt the very next day, since you decided home school isn’t going to keep you away from your ‘career’. Your childhood ends at 18 legally unless you have been emancipated by the courts. Maybe you have done this, maybe not but trust and believe, outside of your Jenner/Kardashian clan bubble, the world is a very different place. Men exploit young women and men like yourself for snacks daily. In some instances, your family’s reputation will harm you more than do you good. I could list a million Hollywood stores of men who have eaten alive young women like yourself and how it affected them to the end of their lives. While Amber Rose wasn’t exactly tactful in her commentary about your friendship with Tyga, there as a valid point to what she said. He has no business being around you, ‘friend’ or not.

While you may consider yourself grown, physically, developmentally and emotionally you are not. While you have the financial resources to do whatever you want at 17, many of those watching you on the shows you are on do not. You are a role model in some circles, whether you like it or not. While you see nothing wrong with your friendship with Tyga, some young girl is under the impression that if you can do it, so can she. So SHE will seek out relationships with older men, who unlike Tyga, will not have her best interest in mind. Would you like to understand why many woman and men are up in arms about your friendship, try googling teen pregnancy statistics? Did you know that many young women are impregnated by men who are over 20, somewhere in the area of like over 50% OR MORE? Men who are OVER 20 are impregnating young women 18 AND YOUNGER every day in this country.

While you have the financial resources to hire a nanny (or 2) have 3-4 baby showers, buy yourself a new house for you and your baby and NEVER worry about how you will pay for it all. Those young girls who are emulating you? They don’t have Kim, Khloe or Kourtney or even your mom to pay for the things they need on a daily basis to take care of their children. They won’t have your brothers to play with their child while they are at an ‘event’ or awards show to be seen. Do you even know what it’s like to have to choose between your children having milk or you have your cell phone working? Do you know what it’s like to have the father of your child deny he’s the father and refuse ANY contact with your or your child or pay any support to said child?

No, you will NEVER know that way of life.

If you want to know how you WILL be treated by Tyga in the future, all you have to do is look at Blac Chyna.
Do not for one second believe that he will treat you different. He will not. While he’s hugged up with you, did it ever occur to you that he should be spending time with his son, that’s when he’s not in the ‘studio’ or making appearances or in concert?

Please tell me what you talk about? I mean what type of serious conversations do you have with a 20 something year old man? Politics? 401(k) s, clothes? Obamacare? Please tell us what types of conversations do you have with this man? Because I’m speak for everyone when I say that your conversations are of a limited nature. Despite your families’ reality show circle, you do not have the life-experiences of a 25-26 year old woman, you just do not. Nothing you can say will make most people feel different. For that matter ask most 25-26 year old women if they are even DATING the same man they were dating when they were 17 years old and they will grimace in embarrassment. They will tell you that they are a different person at 17 than they are now and their dating habits and lifestyles have changed drastically (if they have matured on any level)

AND they are finally seeing the impact of their life-decisions from their short-term and long-term decision from that age.

When YOU become 25-26, YOU will not be the same person you are today. Your life will not be the same in many areas, including your parents.

What Amber said (as fucked up as it was) was because SHE has been where you are right now, except she didn’t have anyone looking out for her best interest. She didn’t have any adult in her life to say. NO, this behavior and these influences are unacceptable in your life AND do something about it. Whether it was to call the police or just remove her physically from the situation.

As you get older you will learn that sometimes, it’s not the messenger but the message you should be paying attention to.

at some point the bullshit gotta stop

Gabby, Dwayne and a baby momma: how things can get really real when feelings and rings are involved




I will admit that i like a happy celebrity couple. I do. As snarky as i can be about love, deep down, i think mutual affinity and ‘witty banter’ (as my friends and I call it) between two couples is a great and wonderful thing to behold. 

The problem I have always had with the ‘general public’ commenting on public relationship (myself included) is that we don’t know the ‘back story’. For example: When word broke of Dwayne Wade’s extremely ugly divorce, his ex wife put there business(his business) OUT THERE. was that really necessary with young kids. Absolutely not. I don’t care if he was sexing sheep, keep it to yourself and the sealed divorce documents. If he’s a celebrity and can’t work and pay you alimony/child support, all your revenge was for naught; he can’t work, you can’t live the life you’ve been accustomed to, everyone is calling you a sheep-fucker behind your back, etc.

Like a bad penny, his ex wife has popped up with all sorts of stunts (like this one)

this is why i believe in million dollar gag orders, but i digress. Whether or not they (Gabby and Dwayne) go together before they were ‘officially’ separated or ‘divorced’  (which took 6 years by the way- and his ex going thru numerous attorneys) No one thought to think about this, He’s a celebrity, She’s a celebrity. Celebrities have events. ALL THE TIME. Most celebrity women are PAID to ‘attend’ events, ALL THE TIME. I have no doubt that they ‘met’ and/or knew each other BEFORE he and his wife separated. Who among us hadn’t met someone while we were dating/with/married to someone else and eventually dated someone we knew when we dated our ex. If that was the case, about 1/2 of the couples should be sued by their exs for “intentional infliction of emotional distress”


but back to my point


Now, after being sued by her boyfriend’s ‘ex (and the case being dismissed); having 1/2 the general black public thinking you are a ‘home wrecker’ (because they want to believe she ‘took’ him from his wife based on…?); THEN having to watching on TV while your boyfriend says you guys are ‘taking a break’ might just make most women tell you to drop dead. fast.

Now i’m not saying Ms. Union is a saint. Far from it, i’m not sure they exist anyhow, but still, can you imagine what’s it like to find out you are broken up on a talk show? That’s not fun. no matter how you slice it. I’m sure she’s become very attached to his boys and loves them dearly and them her. I can’t imagine the conversation he had with them after that tv appearance. 

Now, we all are adults (if not in maturity, then age) so ‘break’ or not, 




Its not difficult, its not like its not available. Its not like there are not groupies looking to ‘snatch’ semen any chance they get. So, eventually Mr. Wade and Ms. Union reunite. Good for them. He popped the question. She accepted. 


Then its reported that he fathered a child with a “woman he has known for many years” 


OUCH. that’s gotta hurt.


for BOTH women involved.


There is nothing more painful than having another chick tell you she’s having a baby with your man (been there, not cute at all) Did i stay. Yes, but No i didn’t get 8.4 carats either. He begged me like Keith Sweat. Over and Over. I received all sorts of presents, all sorts of gifts, all sorts of apologies. 

Honestly, I didn’t know what to do. I was beyond mad. I was beyond Hurt. I was beyond everything. He saw the pain in my face and i think the reality of his ‘actions’ really hit home for him. What you do really comes out into the light. The other chick. Oh, that’s so another LONG story. 

Short version. She went from going to have an abortion to not wanting me to be around her child because i would (in her words) “hurt her baby”.


I told her, No Sweetheart, after I kick his ass for disrespecting me, I”m going to kick yours for talking shit about me to my face. Your ass kicking will come when you drop that load. I have no reason to kick that gorilla looking soon to be child’s ass. (yea, i’m evil like that)

My ex spent months being hounded by a ‘baby’ that incubated for about 11 months. Every time he tried to talk to me about the situation, what was going on. I was like 


and no, he didn’t say a word about me calling his soon to be child a gorilla. I told him. Its YOUR SITUATION, YOU CREATED IT, YOU DEAL WITH IT. And be advised. I’m not babysitting while YOU go to the club. Your child, YOU WATCH IT.

When this ‘miracle’ baby never arrived, he was confused and realized he’s been played. His ‘indiscretion’ torpedoed our relationship. (his past indiscretions didn’t help any) 

Do i empathize with Ms. Union. Absolutely. been there, and while I didn’t have to ‘see’ evidence of my fiancee soon to be husband’s infidelity, She will. DAILY. She will have to deal with it DAILY. While we can all sit back and comment from afar.The evidence of her husband’s ‘break-baby’ will be right there. EVERY DAY. How would ANY WOMAN OR MAN deal with that?

Love isn’t enough.


I got a ring too. and a declaration of love and commitment. I also got tested for STD’s too. What did the other chick in my situation get? Not him. Even after we broke up, he didn’t have anything to do with her. (he was in totally confession mode and told me all sorts of stuff i didn’t want to hear after we broke up) Did girlfriend think she was going to get him after we broke up. Yep. Come to find out, she just knew that they would be ‘together’ raising ‘their’ child. Didn’t happen. 

Now if this ‘mystery woman’ knew him for ‘years’ and knew he was seeing Gabby (who in the world didn’t) and decided to ‘slide in’ where she fit in, thinking that she was going to secure a spot. She failed. I’m quite sure that she had feelings for him and once she thought they were ‘taken a break’ it was her opportunity to show how she was a ‘team’ player. Unfortunately, it didn’t work out for Ms. Mystery Woman. 

Yes, she’s going to have all her child’s needs taken care of. But what about her? Oh i’m sure she’s going to get the gated house in the nice neighborhood. But she’s not going to get what his other kids get. HIM. on a daily basis. From sunrise to sunset. His kids with his ex wife, his nephew and any kids with Gabby will be with him 24/7. Is she going to let her child be with them 24/7. Hell no. She wasn’t a surrogate. She was like many men do, she thought with her sex organs instead of her brain. How embarrassing it must be to have given birth/about to give birth and your child’s father proposed to someone else? Not a nice feeling, at all. And i refuse to think that she’s “okay’ with the situation. She’s not. 

Do i think Dwayne will spend the rest of his life trying to make this right with Gabby. Yep. He’s got the money to do so. he’s got the ability (financially and otherwise) to create elaborate gestures of love and devotion to her for the  REST OF GABRIELLE’S and HIS LIFE together. 

Side chicks everywhere should take not. he’s not going to put a ring on YOUR finger. No matter how many babies you pop out, no matter how ride or die you are. While you are sexing him like a porn star, You are NOT going to get the title and all the benefits that come with it. Even if Gabby and Dwayne fight all day long, its apparent, SHE gets the ring, not you. You get a baby, stretch marks and a paid for house. For 18 years. You will always be known as a ‘baby momma’, You will always be looked at suspect by other women (and your friends, don’t front) as suspect with anyone’s man. 

He told you what you wanted to hear. He inferred what you needed to hear to get what he wanted. Men do that (and women too) to get what they want. Any woman who thinks her sex organs have magical powers are deluding herself. A man will like you even care about you but his name, please He’s not wily-nilly about who gets it. You can be the best bottom bitch in the world, doesn’t mean your going to get the name. what you will get if you have a baby with a celebrity is people calling you a gold-digging, half-dressed, hoe. don’t take it personal. Whatever feelings you had for him. Well, i can’t tell you what do to with them, but i can say this. Therapy Helps. Alot. I would recommend it to Gabrielle and Dwayne (if they asked me, and not from T.D. Jakes either) 

God Bless Gabrielle if she stays and I won’t fault her for leaving (at any point in time). No one is perfect. I don’t think perfection is what most people are after in a relationship. Its loyalty and respect. I think Dwayne’s character has taken a hit on both. 


Yea!! i did it!! I did 30 blogs in 30 days…i think i did anyhow. I would like to thank each and every person who read this blog, read the posting (for 30 days) and decided to follow this blog. Your support and encouragement means the world to me. It has been a wonderful time writing and reflecting. I was quite tame this month, (i think) because of the holiday season. I will return to my regular case of snarkiness in all matters of sex, love and relationship starting Dec 1, but for now, let’s just try to work on working off the turkey high.

You attract what you expect

attract what u expect

want to stop dating people who cheat and lie to you.
look at where you are finding them at? at the first sign of lying, check them ONCE. catch them in a lie again. the problem is YOU not them. Stop overlooking the obvious. stop giving the person the ‘benefit’ of the doubt. stop making excuses for them. if they can’t tell you the serious things within the first 2 weeks, they won’t tell you until its ‘necessary’ and then its not out of ‘necessity’ as much as its out of being busted.

stop dating certain people because you think that’s all you can get.
that is like only eating chicken because the particular store you shop in doesn’t sell beef. what sense does that make? stop dating strippers because you think ‘decent’ women wouldn’t want you? Let’s be clear, housewives aren’t stripping. Women who go to church, are active in the community, are NOT stripping. The only thing you will find in a strip club is women who want you to make it ‘rain’ on them and some to pay the bills for the school they are not attending and the new apartment/house/car they want to buy. You would get a better return on your money if you threw it on the sidewalk or in the Salvation Army Kettle at Christmas time.

stop believing you are not enough. people who do not have your best interest at heart will play you for a fool. daily. every time.

be the good, honest, caring, compassionate person that you are. be the shining star in your own life. don’t worry about not having someone special to share it will right now. they are coming, you have to clear out the BS in your life to make room for them and all the other wonderful things that life has to offer you. until you do that, you will keep drama, chaos, confusion and heartache a daily occurance