Happy Valentine’s Day… just don’t blow it.

Dear Nephews,
It’s Valentine’s Day! The only day of the year (outside of Christmas) where everyone is trying to show their affection by buying love with chocolate and high-priced flowers and dinners. Okay, some of us.

Now to be a spoiled sport about the whole holiday (which I do enjoy for the most part) but like with most things, some people just do too damn much.

For those of you in a “just causally dating someone”, in a serious ‘relationship’, partnered up or married, this day can set the tone for the rest of this year, along with Christmas and your partner’s birthday so you really can’t afford to fuck this up.

However, someone will neglect to do or ‘say’ the right thing and things will get all stupid for a while. I can’t help you with saying or doing stupid things (for the most part) but I can give you some guidance for an overall picture of what you should have been doing before you get to this point.

For those who are in ‘dating’ mode

1. If you are ‘dating’ more than 1 person, (and of course they don’t know it) until you are ballin like that, you are not doing yourself any favors by treating them all the same. If they were all the same, you would just be dating ONE of them, SERIOUSLY. Each of them is giving you something specific, so you might do well to hone in on that. Have a monetary amount you will spend on each one and don’t go over it. If you have one you like more than the rest, she’ll get a higher amount, but not your damn paycheck. Don’t be stupid. I’m not going to let you borrow rent money or car note money because you trying to impress someone you ‘like’.

2. If you are ‘dating’ more than 1 person, you want to schedule out Valentine’s Day. If the day falls on a weekend, (like today) don’t give up your WHOLE weekend for some ‘romantic trip’ to impress the one you like the MOST. (Again, you have a budget) and don’t let her offer to take you away either. You will only cause problems in the long run when she figures out or realizes that she/he was 1 of 5 ‘friends’ you have. Give every person you are dating ‘except’ #1 a time limit of no more than 1 to 1 ½ hours of your time on Valentine’s Day. Give the one you like the most 2 -3 hours. Don’t create standards you won’t be able to keep up. There’s no reason for anyone to be up in anyone’s face all damn day, in love or not. Love doesn’t pay the bills. If you are seeing anyone who wants to know your whereabouts of every second of every day, DUMP THEM. They have issues and I don’t remember anyone one of you signing up for the fire department or rescue a chick service.

3. If you are dating someone exclusively, then an overnight trip is fine BUT remember it’s not about how much money you spend but the quality of time you spend with them. Don’t plan a trip to Paris when you can’t pay your bills. Don’t play a cruise when you’re looking at your car being repossessed. There are TONS of things you can do that are meaningful and special without spending up the national debt. If the person you are with complains about how much you are NOT spending, you might want to reconsider the character of the person you are dating.

Understand that you are under NO obligation to spend ONE red penny on Valentine’s Day for ANYONE. If you chose to celebrate, that’s wonderful. If not, don’t. It’s absolutely totally your choice, but whatever you do, DO NOT be so tacky as to send a text of flowers and candy to a woman. Whether you are “Just” friends or not. It’s RUDE as hell. What the hell is she going to do with that? Don’t even pretend with the

“It’s the thought that counts” Auntie???!!!

Well, here’s that thought” translated:

“I don’t think you are worth having red roses or candy sent to your house or job because YOU are not important enough for me to spend the $35 for a bunch of red roses and a $12.00 box of chocolates. But I will send you a TEXT PICTURE of these things in the hopes that you don’t think I’m that cheap and that I at least thought about you while I bought someone ELSE flowers, candy, a card and took HER out to dinner. But hey, when YOU get drunk, horny or lonely, I’m hoping I’m the first person you text.”

2 that right there is unfucking acceptable

So again, try NOT to be a douche this day. I will have to talk about you later. At the next family gathering, in front of everyone AND the girl you DIDN’T send the text picture of flowers to. Let’s see how that works out for you. Cause you know I will.

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I’m sorry, I forgot

oh i m sorry i forgot i only exist

Sometimes, you just gotta tell someone to kiss your left butt-cheek.

Yea, i know, I know. But She’s really a good person, she’s going thru something right now.

Yea, he’s an douche, BUT… he’s just stressed about work.

Yep, alrighty then. Why is it that this person ONLY contacts you when THEY need something. Something that involves YOU being naked OR on your knees OR you on all fours OR money is involved?

I’m just saying.

I was talking at a girlfriend and we joked about how this one guy she had a ‘thing’ with would send her a dirty text message, accompanied by a very dirty vine-like video. She was like, seriously. She typically ignores the text. Finally, after days of ignoring his recent series of text and video, he replied back with “so you really aren’t going to talk to me?”

We both fell out laughing.

At what point do you tell someone to kiss your left butt-cheek while you are driving down I-95 in rush hour traffic?

The FIRST time you realize that they go ‘rouge’ and ‘secret squirrel’ on you? meaning: you go from daily text, emails, phone calls, to weeks of radio silence? only to get that 11:30pm Saturday night text asking ‘WYD’

boy/girl please

ain’t no body GOT TIME FOR THAT

The THIRD time you realize they go ‘Delta force secret mission’ because of course, their job working as an accountant for Price Waterhouse has that in their ‘other duties as assigned as part of their contract’

Let’s just be honest here. UNLESS YOU ARE IN A WAR ZONE, PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY.

STOP

STOP

STOP

Just admit it. You are grooming others and we are all at different areas of the supply chain.

See how easy that was?

Now, here’s the problem when you keep your mouth shut. continue with lies of omissions, and do stupid shit.

YOUR CAR GET KEYED. And we KNOW how much it will cost to get a Lexus repainted

YOUR CAR WINDOWS GET BROKEN. Get ready to get Safelight stock

YOUR HOME GETS TRASHED. Yea, get ADT now. cause you will get visited by someone’s cousin’s crazy ‘play brother’ and his crew

YOU WILL GET YOUR ASS KICKED OR WORSE. playing with someone’s sister’s emotions will get you a late night visit, visit to your job and very few words will be spoken. You will get cracked in the jaw so quick, Money Mayweather will be jealous. BTW, the deadline for signing up for The Affordable Care Act is coming soon.

You will get blasted on social media. You do NOT want your dick pics online. Cause what they say about black men IS NOT TRUE. Don’t be that example.

here’s the thing. women are like elephants. They NEVER forget. You keep going to try to come back to the well with all the confidence of the captain of the Titanic. We know how that turned out.

You attract what you expect

attract what u expect

want to stop dating people who cheat and lie to you.
look at where you are finding them at? at the first sign of lying, check them ONCE. catch them in a lie again. the problem is YOU not them. Stop overlooking the obvious. stop giving the person the ‘benefit’ of the doubt. stop making excuses for them. if they can’t tell you the serious things within the first 2 weeks, they won’t tell you until its ‘necessary’ and then its not out of ‘necessity’ as much as its out of being busted.

stop dating certain people because you think that’s all you can get.
that is like only eating chicken because the particular store you shop in doesn’t sell beef. what sense does that make? stop dating strippers because you think ‘decent’ women wouldn’t want you? Let’s be clear, housewives aren’t stripping. Women who go to church, are active in the community, are NOT stripping. The only thing you will find in a strip club is women who want you to make it ‘rain’ on them and some to pay the bills for the school they are not attending and the new apartment/house/car they want to buy. You would get a better return on your money if you threw it on the sidewalk or in the Salvation Army Kettle at Christmas time.

stop believing you are not enough. people who do not have your best interest at heart will play you for a fool. daily. every time.

be the good, honest, caring, compassionate person that you are. be the shining star in your own life. don’t worry about not having someone special to share it will right now. they are coming, you have to clear out the BS in your life to make room for them and all the other wonderful things that life has to offer you. until you do that, you will keep drama, chaos, confusion and heartache a daily occurance

Yes, you are that vain…

no my post wasn't about you

Sometimes it really is about you. Its about something you have done, will do or are about to do. Don’t do it. No, its not a good idea. No, they aren’t interested in you the way you are interested in them. No, they are not worth the headache you are getting ready to cause yourself. Yes, they are not available, mentally, emotionally, sexually, physically and theoretically available to you in ANY WAY, SHAPE OR FORM. Concentrate on discovering a new hobby, find a new church, join meetup and find something CONSTRUCTIVE to do. He/she is NOT leaving their spouse/baby daddy/momma,boy/girl friend, significant other or the person they are ‘affiliated with’, yes, you are wasting your time, heart, emotions, sanity, feelings and hard earned money. None of which you will EVER get back in return. So, yes, this is really about you. So, what are you gonna do about it?

Dear Nephews,
I have decided  i would give you guys some advice on women. Since you guys range in age from 34 to 2, i decided to make sure i cover all my bases. While i’m sure you are all thinking, has she been drinking again…, i have not, (well, not until after i finish writing this) but i do want you guys to know that I only want the best for you guys. i want you guys to be in happy, positive, fulfilling relationship (with women, but if you don’t like women, the same advise will probably apply to men also). With so much crap going on between men and women these days, i want you guys to be able to determine who is worth and who is worthless.
1.You are not CAPTAIN SAVE A HOE
Guess what, you aren’t Superman, Batman or The Green Hornet either. Don’t RESCUE any woman until she’s in imminent danger. This does NOT include her getting evicted from her home (she needs to get her finances straight-without your money), her babydaddy/ex/ex-husband is beating her ass, she lost her job and has to move in with her mother/family members, her car broke down, her baby need pampers and milk or any other EXCUSE you brings to you. Say, oh wow, sorry to hear that. I can’t help you but I will pray for you.
Leave her ass where you found her.
2. She has more than 2 kids by 2 different men before she is 21.
She can’t listen or learn. This chick doesn’t think fat meat is greasy. Unless she is a victim of rape or incest, she  WILLINGLY had sex with guy(s) who were using her as a bouncing ball. Yes, i know, I’m being mean, but guess what…
Children are a blessing, so is common sense
and she’s not using hers.
There is NO REASON in this day and age ANYONE should get pregnant by ‘accident’. She is not Jamie Lyn Spears. She is probably NOT independently wealthy, and is living with family and/or her income is being supplemented by the Federal and State Governments. If, (and that’s a big IF) she’s getting child support, its probably not enough and that whole situation is something you should avoid like the plague.
again, refer to Statement #1

Leave her ass where you found her

3. You cannot turn a HOE into a HOUSEWIFE
I’m sure there are some very nice strippers in that club. Yea, okay. There are also very nice women who work at Macy’s, Go to Virginia Tech and work for the post office. Guess what, they aren’t shaking their asses in front of some guys face on the chance that he’s going to give them $$ to look up her vagina. Yes, the recession hit everyone hard, but guess what. Not that damn hard. If she thinks that’s the only way she can make money ‘legitimately’, keep moving.
Leave her ass where you found her
4. If she thinks all men are untrustworthy, cheaters and liars, she’s damaged goods.
If you meet a woman and she tells you that her ex and ALL her other ex’s mistreated and abused her, then tell her to get some therapy and take your ass home. She needs to be alone and figure out why SHE keeps attracting losers. If you just HAVE to date this mental case, I can tell you now what’s going to happen. She’s going to call you all the time, accuse you of being ‘just like all the other guys’, start timing you on how long it will take you to go from her house to yours, will lose her mind if you don’t give her all your passwords to Facebook  Twitter, Myspace  your work and personal emails and pass codes to your voice mail.
(if you give this nut ANY of your passwords, i will personally kick your ass)
She had self-esteem, jealousy and many other issues that you are not professionally trained to deal with. I don’t care if she says because you guys are ‘dating’ or ‘together’ she should have the pass codes. And if she tries that, “everyone does it’ speech, tell her to call me. I can assure you, you won’t be in a ‘relationship’ with her after i’m finished…
Leave her ass where you found her
5. She had kids (more than 1) and expects if you date her, you have to do for her kids too.
again, refer to Rule #1 and #2. 
If you date a woman with children, you are NOT obligated to do anything for her children. They have a father(s), its not you. I don’t care if their father is in jail, dead or a deadbeat, those children are NOT your responsibility. PERIOD. Do not pay for babysitters if you go out on dates (her kids-her responsibility) if she can’t afford a babysitter, then she’ can’t come out and play. When you decide to have children, guess what you are now a ‘grown-up’, whether you are 16 or 36. Any women who tells you that she doesn’t have a babysitter and has to bring the kids on the date isn’t someone you need to be dating. If she tells you that YOU have to pay for a babysitter if you want to date her, guess what, there are PLENTY of childless women out there, you wont be alone for long. If she expects you to buy her children birthday, school supplies, school trips and Christmas presents, etc …

Leave h

er ass where you found her.
6. She is drama filled from the day you meet her.
There’s drama and then there’s “the police have been called drama” If she’s ever been arrested for domestic violence, can’t go into certain areas because she has ‘beef’ with some chicks there, had to move from one area of the country to another because of ‘problems’, etc. Leave her ass alone. If your car is keyed up when you are at her place, if some guy calls your phone telling you to leave his ‘woman’ alone, if she tells you she’s ‘separated’ but never filed any papers and still lives with her husband or with her mother, she is going to get your ass killed, attacked or arrested. If you were dating a friend of her’s and now dating her, (you are triflin-but that’s another posting) I’m telling you right now, i don’t have bail money for all of you guys, someone is going to be left out…

Leave her ass where you found her

7. She tells you she’s about her plans for the future but you don’t see any results
She is either telling you what she thinks you want to hear to keep you interested, she’s lazy as hell or she’s having mental heath issues. None of which are in your best interest. If any women tells you if you do something then she’s do something to better herself, she’s got fuckin issues. Don’t get duped by some woman who says she’s get her driver’s license if you guys move in together. If she won’t get it for herself, she damn sure won’t get it for you. You should want to be with someone who has her own goals, dreams and aspirations, if she isn’t striving to better herself, with or without you, why are you with her…?
Again, Leave her ass where you found her. 

I don’t want you guys to think that I am being harsh and judgmental on women (yea, i am) but i want YOU to be with women who are bring something to the table more than her ass and a couple of kids. You can destroy your credit, mental heath and your car on your own. You do not need a woman to do that for you.

I love you all

Aunt Jinks

 

something wicked comes this way.

According to my younger brother, i eat men for breakfast. Once my brother, one of his friends and the friend’s brother were at our house playing PlayStation.  The friend’s brother asked my brother about me when i walked out the room. My brother later told me that he didn’t even turn away from the game and said:

“Man, She eats men like you for a snack.”

All i could do was laugh. It wasn’t as if he was lying. When my younger brother was 6, he and another brother would blackmail my dates. I would never understand why my dates would kill themselves to bring my brothers on dates with us, or buy them anything they wanted during the date or bring them back food from various restaurants. I was like, “um, they are good.” but no… my dates would kill themselves to make my brothers happy. It wasn’t until a few years ago my younger brother admitted that they would tell my dates “if we don’t like you, SHE’s not going to go out with you again”, so of course, my dates took their threats seriously.

WTF.

Being pimped out by a 6 and 14 year old. I don’t know which was worse, the fact that they were good at it or the fact that the guys i dated bought it. Unfortunately, my brothers still have an influence on my dating life. If i am serious about someone and they object… its not good odds for them (the boyfriend). It also helps they live in 2 different states and i rarely introduce them to anyone (HHAHAHA)

As i have talked about in a prior blog, certain things remind me of my ex. I’ve been pretty good at trying to work through my feelings for him (which are definitely not the same as before) but i also know that its the nature of the beast of love.

My dating history is someone like this

(according to my brother)

 

my college boyfriend

After college boyfriend

 

late 20’s/30’s dating

 

wendell

 

reggie

 

 

the ex

 

 

the new guy

 

 

 

i promised myself  i’d behave.  i’d be a kinder, gentler me….

 

i lied….

when will people learn?

I will admit it. i have watched Love and Hip Hop-Atlanta.  and no my head didn’t explode. um well maybe it did. i actually had to stop watching it after Joslyn went psycho on Stevie J when she realized he lied to her at the counselor’s office about his and MiMi living arrangements. Say what you want about Jo-Jo, she’s authentic and honest. it may not seem to be, be she is. She isn’t telling anyone what they want to hear. She’s dealing with life on her terms. Now, i didn’t say that the terms were very great, but it her’s. Poor MiMi and Erica seems to be under the diluted impression that if you give birth to someone’s child, it means that they have some ‘forever’ hold on your heart and your sex organs. Um, ya’ll really gotta wake the fuck up.  Seriously. I can’t stand to see anyone with self-esteem lower than a snake’s belly. I mean Mimi yelling at the Reunion show (which i only saw 10 minutes of before i had to turn the TV off because my brain went into convulsions) about how no one can judge her and whatever stupid crap she tried to scream made me want to just say “honey. stop. please.” Stevie doesn’t care about anyone he can’t pimp musically or otherwise. Let’s be honest, you bragged about how you guys were TOGETHER for 15 yrs, then it went to we KNOW each other for 15 yrs. Make a decision, cause its making you look like a liar. For real. Math wasn’t my strong suit in school but um, if he was engaged to be married to both Eve and Whoppie Goldberg’s daughter in the last 15 yrs, um am I missing something? and making babies with random women in and out the industry and you still wanna claim him like he’s Barack? I think you might want to see that therapist by yourself.

Let’s not forget Lil’ Scrappy, Erica and his pimp ass mother. Seriously. Scrappy’s mother is the reason why I will be leave all my money to Planned Parenthood when I die. She is the reason that we need sex education at every level in school. No one should be this damn stupid. And she is stupid and i have no problem telling it to her face. No wonder Scrappy is as stupid as he is. When you justify everything your child does, right, wrong, indifferent, and its everyone ELSE’S FAULT when he fucks up. Please. Save your threats. Erica needs to keep him on child support and get a restraining order against his mother. Scrappy no more cares about her and having a serious, monogamous relationship with her than Lindsey Lohan is off drugs. Shey/Bucky should have seen his lies coming from Alaska. I kept screaming at the TV every time i saw them together. HONEY NOOOOO. But of course, she’s played on the reunion show, like we knew she would when he pulled out a ring for Erica. Um Yea, like we didn’t see that coming.

I just want women (and men) to stop this insane bullshit. Stop pretending to be something your not, loving someone you obviously don’t and just being a plan ole ignorant clown. Please. Don’t get mad when you do stupid things on TV and don’t expect someone to call you out on your mess. cause its mess. 1000% mess