There is a difference between someone fooling you and you fooling yourself

I’ve been reading and observing different daytime reality shows (Trisha Goddard Show, Bill Cunningham, Maury, The Test, Divorce Court, Judge Judy, etc) and I’ve started seeing a pattern:

  1. Person A (Man or Woman) meets Person B (Man or Woman)
  2. Person B makes statement of ‘romantic affection and/or leads Person A into ‘thinking’ they are in a ‘relationship’ (either full blown love affair, friends with benefits, booty call, side chick situation)
  3. Person A dives head first into a ‘relationship’ with this person after a rather ‘short’ (less than 1-3 months) after meeting Person B
  4. Person A typically is in some ways financially supporting Person B (letting them move in, ‘loans, etc)
  5. Person B typically ‘claims’ they will pay them back but never does.
  6. Person B tells Person A that their previous ‘relationship partner’ is/was rude, abusive, nasty, liar, etc.
  7. Person A, when they seen the ex, with information they ‘assume’ to be true from Person B, treats the ex accordingly.
  8. Person B, often times is seeing having some sort of ‘relationship’ with the ex or other individuals, either known or unknown to Person A
  9. Person A blames the ex or other 3rd parties of ‘causing problems’ in their relationship with Person B.
  10. Person B typically fails all lie detector test or ‘confesses’ that in fact, they are not as invested in the relationship as they appear.
  11. Person A is devastated.

What Person A never seems to understand is their COMPLICITY in the situation. In their view, everyone is to blame but them. They cannot fathom their leading role(s) in this drama.

First: If a man has children with multiple women, WHY would you have children with him? He’s not taking care of them, WHY would he take care of any you have with him?

Second, if his ex (whether or not he has children with them) is so ugly, evil, manipulative, nasty, etc, why is he STILL in communication with them? If there are NO children involved, there is definitely NO REASON for them to have any conversation.

Third, this person has no job, no discernible source of income, they rely on family for basic living conditions, why would you decide that they are ‘worthy’ of your financial support? Unless you are running a charitable organization, you should concentrate YOUR efforts on building a solid foundation for YOUR future, not the ‘potential possible future’ they MIGHT have with you.

 

At what point will you realize that their actions are NOT corresponding to their words?

 

There is always a point where the host of the show looks Person A in the eye and rightfully so asks them since they now know the truth, are they going to stay with this person? There immediate answer is always “HELL NO”, then during the show update, The audience sees Person A and Person B talking via Skype saying how they ‘worked’ through their ‘issues’ and are more in love than ever. Of course there are tons of side-eyes from the audience and the viewers.

 

I believe in love. Although it might not seem like it from my blog (insert laugh and head slap here) but I believe in a healthy love. The kind of love that doesn’t have you stalking individuals you ‘think’ are interested in the person you are ‘dating’. The type of love that does not believe that cheating is acceptable until you get married. Then after you are married, well, the argument is “this is how I was before we got married…” I want the kind of love where someone takes my emotions and well-being into considering when they are making life decisions. I want the type of love that doesn’t involve ‘breaks’ every time one of us gets the ‘hots’ for someone else.

 

Apparently, love has evolved over the recent years to mean love isn’t love until I’ve made a fool out of you.

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