Dear Married Women (and those of you in ‘marriage/long-term commitment type relationship),
Hi there, this is your friendly neighborhood single woman. I’m the friend you’ve known since kindergarten, grade school, the neighborhood, high school, college, and your first job after college, your next-door neighbor and cousin’s sister’s best friend’s roommate. Yep, that’s me here. I have something to talk to you about because quite frankly, I’ve become concerned.
It’s about your husband. You know, that guy who you sleep with daily (okay, you might not be having sex with him daily, but you know what I mean). Well, I hate to break it to you but I need you to tell him that posting that picture of his face on a dating website is not really cute. That picture of his nether region in your bathroom isn’t very cute either (one word. Manscaping)
Now, I’m not trying to get in your business. If he’s on there and you know about it, that’s fine. HOWEVER, I’m kinda positive that you don’t know that he has posted that he is single/separated/divorced on the profile also. Again, not trying to get in your business BUT last time we hung out, you spent A LOT of time talking about how ‘single women’ need to find their own men and stop hunting down good loving considerate wives husbands. WELL, that’s what WE ARE TRYING TO DO. Unfortunately for us, your husband’s keep getting in the way. What is it that when I specifically post on my profile that I’m interested in SINGLE/DIVORCED MEN, your husband is sending me pictures and telling me how he’d like to get to know me? Or better yet, your husband is telling me that he’s ‘separated’ but when I ask him what his case number is, he can’t give me one? Well, it’s because of course, he NEVER paid an attorney to FILE ONE. I hate to tell you honey, but your husband is separated in HIS MIND, maybe not yours, but HIS MIND DAMN SURE THINKS HE SEPARATED AND HE’S ACTING ACCORDINGLY.
Now, us single women do try to do our due diligence to determine if a man is married. Check for a ring. Yep. He’s not wearing one. His place? He brings us to his boy/cousins’/mom’s house. Car? He’s put the car seat in the trunk. Phone? He’s got a pre-paid Boost Mobile you don’t know about. Job? He’s giving us the main line number and they just transfer us to his number. Going out? He’s taking me all over the place. He’s spending money on me like Bill Gates and Warren Buffet. Time? I can’t get him off the damn phone and he’s texting me all hours of the day and night. Friends? Yes, he’s introducing me to his ‘boys’ and their women.
So here is my suggestion to help us single women below:
If you are going to let him walk around in public among us single/divorced women, I think you should put him on one of the devices above. For the low price of $35.99, you can keep his penis right where it should be, locked up and the key in your purse.
Again, I’m not trying to tell you how to handle your business, BUT there would be a WHOLE LOT LESS outside babies and single women showing up at your door in the middle of the day telling you that they are having a ‘relationship’ with your husband. If you husband can pull a Houdini and get of this contraption, then you have more pressing issues that whether or not he’s cheating on you.
It’s hard enough out here to date a ‘normal’ man, but a married one, us single women ain’t got time for that. But you can do something to help this situation too. Stop blaming US for your husband cheating. There is not a single woman alive, who would not want to find her own ‘Prince Charming’, so why would we settle for yours?
Yelling, Screaming, calling us a gold-digger and all that good stuff may make you feel better, but guess what, most of us:
1. Didn’t know he was married
2. When we figure out/found out his was married, we broke off the relationship
3. YOUR HUSBAND was the one chasing us, blowing up our phone and telling us how much he didn’t want to be with you but for the kids
4. He’s a weak bastard and you can do better
Whatever reason your man chose to step out on your relationship is between you and him. Whether he’s always cheated or this is the first time he acted on it, please consider this, HE chose to step out of your relationship. I didn’t magically make his penis fall out of his pants and fall into my vagina. I didn’t pay for the dinner and hotel room, HE DID THAT. I understand that being angry with the woman seems like the best way to focus your anger but it really isn’t. All you are doing is projecting all your anger on the woman instead of where it really lies, with YOUR MAN. If you took the time to sit down with me, review the text messages, listen to voice messages, read emails, look at the pictures HE SENT ME, you would tell pretty quickly his version of ‘events’ are probably not what he lead you to believe about our ‘relationship’.
Am I sorry you got hurt, absolutely? Am I sorry that your world just turned upside down and inside out? Absolutely. But you should focus on YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN. Having your girls call me up or show up to my job is only going to get someone’s ass kicked (not mine) and criminal charges filed again you (and them). Focus your anger on the person who you spend countless hours planning a wedding you couldn’t afford and a dress you’ve only worn once. Blame the man who made your body turn inside out pushing out those big headed babies for him. That man who you lay next to whose family you really aren’t fond of but pretend to because your ‘suppose’ to. That should be your focus. I didn’t lie to you, he did. I didn’t tear your heart apart, he did. He told me all sorts of things about you. Personal things that I honestly shouldn’t know, but I do. Now you have a decision to make.
Should you decide to stay, because you don’t want to lose your lifestyle/standing in the community, ask yourself this: Is staying worth my dignity?
Don’t worry, he’s not coming here. No sir, I don’t tolerate liars and cheats. If I wanted that, I would have stayed with my ex-boyfriend.
Yes relationships are hard. Long-term relationships/marriages are work. Absolutely yes they are work, daily grind, in and out work. When only one of you is doing the work, why be THERE in the first place? Hoping and praying that one day this person, this man who swore before God to forsake all others except YOU is going to magically wake up and realize what a great, beautiful, commitment, woman that has been in his life all along isn’t going to happen. If he considered how his cheating would affect you and the life he shared with you, we wouldn’t be having this conversation. He didn’t do that instead he’s surfing the internet finding your emotional/physical substitute. Maybe he’s not going to leave and he’s just trying to get his dick sucked. Who knows? But seriously, us single women have enough on our plate that to get involved with your marriage. We have much better things to do with our time, like finding our own “Prince Charming”. I could tell you you deserve better, but until YOU believe you deserve better, your situation isn’t going to get any better and I won’t be the only woman your husband is trying to date.
I’m Just saying