Insulting things to say to someone before, during and after sex

  1. I absolutely cannot get naked for something that small.
  2. No, you cannot put your dick in my ear.
  3. If you are a white man, you cannot call me a black bitch during sex unless you want to lose a testicle.
  4. I’ve have bigger dick and better dick since we’ve broken up.
  5. No, it’s not good for me.
  6. No, I can’t feel it.
  7. No, I don’t think I want another round of this crap
  8. My mouth is NOT going around that. It looks like you haven’t washed it in a month of Sundays.
  9. Yes, the last man I had sex with was bigger than you.
  10. Can you hand me the remote?
  11. Ouch! Not so damn hard!
  12. We are going to have to stop now, um… I have a cramp in my calf.
  13. No, it’s not big enough for me.
  14. Whoever told you that felt good lied to you.
  15. Magnum condoms were designed for men with thick and/or large penises, there’s a reason why yours  keeps slipping off.
  16. If I’m carrying on a conversation with others during oral sex, you’re doing something wrong.
  17. Don’t mind me; I’m taping this so my boyfriend can jack off to it later.
  18. Fair exchange is not robbery, you lick first.
  19. Wow, I didn’t realize how large your forearm is.
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