cheaters, love and just drama

In 1986, Sherri Rasumussen was in a love triangle and didn’t know it. Her husband was still ‘seeing’ a ‘friend’ from college whom he had a ‘friends with benefits’ arrangement. When Stephanie Lazarus told John Ruetten how she finally felt about him, he told her that he was still going to marry Sherri, after, according to Stephanie’s defense attorney, they had sex. After being married 4 months, Sherri was found dead by her husband when he came home from work.

Fast forward to February 8, 2012, Stephanie Lazarus trial began in the death of Sherri, some 23 years later. It wasn’t the fact that Stephanie was now a retired and admired LAPD officer, but the fact that this woman (Sherri) was perhaps, out of love and trust, believed her husband when he told her that any type of ‘relationship’ he had with this woman was over. There are accounts that Stephanie and Sherri had a ‘confrontation’ at Sherri’s job at the hospital. Sherri’s version of events is that she went to the hospital to tell Stephanie to tell her husband to ‘stop calling her’. Now, here’s the thing. If I’m a LAPD officer and the guy who I was madly in love with married someone else after I told him how I felt about him and after he had sex with me and told me that he was still going to marry her and STILL kept calling me, knowing that I could legally carry a gun, he’s stupid as hell.

Then I realized something, MANY, MANY, MANY women have either been Sherri or Stephanie at some time in their lives. They either think they are marrying the guy of their dreams or the guy of their dreams is now telling them, typically after she has declared her love for him, that he is marrying someone else. If some woman comes to your job and tells you that you to get her man/husband/boyfriend to stop calling you, what is your first response going to be?  She’s lying?

My first question is who are you and how the hell do you know anything about me? Which leads me to believe that he’s told her something about me, which begs the question: Why are you talking about me to another woman? Now if my guy/husband tells me that she’s a psycho ex who is stalking him and now me, I’d better see a restraining order, otherwise, that dog isn’t hunting here. If I get a “oh she’s upset because we were just “friends with benefits” and I am with you now, begs the question: when did the benefits end? While I’m no mathematician, I would not need a calculator for this one. If she produces emails or shows me a cell phone with messages from his phone number, there’s no reason for any other conversation. We are so done.

Now if I’m the woman who ‘decides’ his wife needs to be ‘told’ about his ways, then I need to ask myself two questions: first, what do I really want to accomplish with this? Do I want him to be with me? Do I want them to break up? Second, I’m I really ready sure that having this ‘confrontation’ (and it’s a confrontation, let’s be real) is something that going to be productive for me? Honestly, if she doesn’t know he’s a jerk, shame on her. And why in the hell do I want a guy who decided that I was ‘second best’ and only good as a side chick? I don’t. I actually had the ‘pleasure’ of one of these ‘confrontations as the girlfriend. It was totally by accident (he thought he had me ‘under control’ and unfortunately for him, I don’t do ‘control well) needless to say, we broke up not long after that. What I realized was that she was an idiot and he was a liar. He told her all sorts of things about me (whether or not they were true, I could care less about) and she was more than willing to spout off about how they were making all these plans to be together. I looked her dead in the eye and said “this would be a bit difficult since he’s living with me.” He couldn’t even look me in the eye in front of her. Then he proceeded to get a ‘tude’ with me for showing up unannounced. I was like oh, okay, you wanna clown? Let’s clown. He immediately backed down. I went home pissed and on a rampage. He moved out within 24 hours.

Did he try to ‘come back’ even after they moved in together. Yep. I don’t know how many times he would pop up or call and try to figure out whether or not I would take him back. I can’t tell you how many times I stopped him dead in his tracks. Even after I physically moved out of state, he made a couple of attempts to see me. I told him flat out no. We are not even FRIENDS anymore, why would I want you to visit me? Of course, he cheated on her and dumped her. When he told me, I just smiled. She got exactly what she wanted. Him. I don’t think she actually realized that he was going to treat her WORSE than he ever thought about treating me but hey, as they say, Karma is such a bitch. Now Stephanie is on trial for her life and Sherri’s family hopes to finally get justice.